• Fast Food Draft Round 5
  • WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT? 1
  • I do not negotiate with terrorists
  • OJ: Fan appreciation
  • I Am Teh Wallrsu

Virgins and Lesbians – A Serious Discussion (posted by: E)

Virgins and Lesbians – A Serious Discussion
Having been sick for most of the past week, I engaged in a lot of mini movie-marathons with no real logic or structure. It was pretty much me watching whatever movie I picked off of my shelf that I hadn’t seen in a while. And inadvertently, I watched 40 Year Old Virgin and Chasing Amy back to back, and found an interesting dialogue about sexual history coming to surface when viewing them one after the other. On the one hand, 40YOV follows Andy, the (duh) 40 year old virgin whose lack of sexual...

Fast Food Draft Round 5 (posted by: SN)

Fast Food Draft Round 5
No. 5: Always the Best! E: Final Round: the specific fast food meal you want to eat THE LEAST. Feel free to mix entree/burger, sides, and dessert. But you have to name at least one of each. SN: That will require some thought. I also always enjoy tangents about Jean Claude Van Damne. E: So here we go. Pick the: 1) main entree/burger/sandwich/bowl 2) side dish 3) dessert-ish thing that you LEAST WANT TO EAT, but through some sick brand of torture, are forced to eat in one sitting from only shitty...

WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT? 1 (posted by: LD)

WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT? 1
New feature:  The hilariously disturbed minds at this blog come up with a fictional fight and try to discern would would win. SN: Who would win in a melee:  the kids from Slumdog Millionaire or every superhero ever fighting on the same side? LD: I’m taking the slumdog kids, and here’s why: 1) There’s no opponent more dangerous than the opponent with nothing to lose.  Obviously, that makes a penniless orphan the most dangerous opponent of all. 2) The most dangerous opponent...

I do not negotiate with terrorists (posted by: SN)

I do not negotiate with terrorists
Alex: Fuck you!!   Holy shit, no joke — I am not to be fucked with. The latest exhibit comes from a little locale named River City. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? Perhaps you’ve heard of the tale of the guy that beat the shit out of an entire city to get back his girlfriend, who had been taken hostage? Yeah, well, that was me. That’s right, I downloaded River City Ransom for the Virtual Console on the Wii. I’d never played it during its original run for the Nintendo Entertainment...

OJ: Fan appreciation (posted by: SN)

OJ: Fan appreciation

The Watchmen [movies] (posted by: E)

The Watchmen [movies]
[I’m going to keep this review spoiler free for the most part, so feel free to read on if you haven’t seen the movie or read the book] It’s pretty much impossible to not fall into geeky hyperbole or fanboy bashing, maybe even simultaneously, when talking about Zack Snyder’s adaptation of The Watchmen. Long toted as the “unfilmable book,” Snyder has been all around the talk circuit speaking of his attention to remaining faithful to the seminal graphic novel, while...

I Am Teh Wallrsu (posted by: JC)

I Am Teh Wallrsu
Last year, Rock Band developer Harmonix had announced a deal with Apple Corps (the Beatles business company) involving the Beatles’ music.  When asked whether it would be a Rock Band title, Harmonix avoided the question saying it would be it’s own “experience.” A few weeks ago on the Howard Stern Show, Paul McCartney when asked about whether he played Rock Band replied “Well love, they’re making one about us, dippity doo” (ok, maybe that’s a paraphrase). Well...

Down With Fast Food Draft! Round 4 (posted by: LD)

Down With Fast Food Draft! Round 4
and we continue: HE IS READING A MAGAZINE ABOUT HIMSELF. PICK: SN) According to Wikipedia it qualifies as a fast food restaurant, so that’s good enough for me…Big Boy. Has anyone actually ever eaten there? Are they really open, or do they just put up a plastic statue of a fat kid that people like to vandalize? That may be their only contribution to society — an outlet for trouble-making teens to take out their frustrations upon. Seriously, this giant fat kid with no sense...

OJ: Tragedy (posted by: SN)

OJ: Tragedy

Down with Fast Food Draft! – Round 3, Part 1 (posted by: LD)

Down with Fast Food Draft! – Round 3, Part 1
SN) This draft has been fun. This round goes me, LD, E. Anyone else want to get in before we start? I’ll let E handle the mess that was round 2, what with people jumping in at the 11th hour. Speak up now or forever hold your peace for round 3. Banks) I didn’t think anybody jumped in.  N8 and I just chimed in to rag on the picks, which I thought was half the point. LD) I dig that too, keep it up. SN) Word. I thought you might like to get in this round though. Banks) I’m...

Down With Fast Food Draft! Round 2 (posted by: E)

Down With Fast Food Draft! Round 2
Onward with Round 2 of Fast Food Restaurants we want to banish forever. E) Hardees/Carl’s Jr. The #4 fast food chain in the nation behind McD’s, BK, and Wendy’s, you want to talk about the obesity problem in America? Maybe try eliminating the restaurant that puts 8 strips of bacon and gravy on every sandwich? It’s a place that had to have an advertising campaign apologizing in a knowing way, that the food admittedly “used to be pretty awful,” but no, check out...

Down With Fast Food Draft! Round 1 (posted by: E)

Down With Fast Food Draft! Round 1
It’s been a while since we had a draft, and so here’s our draft of Fast Food Restaurants We’d Like To Banish from the Face of the Earth. Consider it a reverse “Favorite Fast Food Restaurants” draft. We also had three participants with everyone jumping in whenever they wanted to. So fuck the structure. This is a Tornado Tag Team match. And awaaaaay we go: PICK 1: SN) Subway. It’s not that their sandwiches are bad (they’re light years behind Quiznos, mind...

East Bound and Awesome (posted by: SN)

East Bound and Awesome
Have you been watching Eastbound and Down? While not as rock solid as the premiere, the second episode was a good watch nonetheless, setting the tone for the rest of the initial batch of six episodes. Here’s the scenario: Former pitching phenom Kenny Powers (Danny McBride) gets a job teaching gym at an elementary school to pay the bills. He has absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever, drinking nonstop and doing whatever drugs he can get his hands on. Despite any realistic hope, he desperately...

The Joaquin Phoenix Chronicles: An Old Friend Returns On the Most Unlikeliest of Nights! (posted by: E)

The Joaquin Phoenix Chronicles: An Old Friend Returns On the Most Unlikeliest of Nights!
Hugh Jackman: [singing] HOW I LONG TO BEEEEE…PAAAAAART OF THIS WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD [applause] THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT LADIES AND GENTS! Joaquin Phoenix: This is…[scratches beard]….fuckin’ whatever. [wanders backstage] Joaquin Phoenix: ……… [chewing gum] Ben Stiller: …………… Frank Coraci: ……….. JP: ………………. FC: ………….. BS: ……………… JP:...

Save us, Ken Griffey Jr. (posted by: SN)

Save us, Ken Griffey Jr.
Thousands lose their jobs every day. Banks fail. Osama bin Laden remains at large. Yet in the cruel darkness of night, a glimmer of hope. Ken Griffey Jr. is returning to the Seattle Mariners. When Ken Griffey Jr. last played for the Mariners, a nation was enamored with his youthful spirit and playful approach to the game. Things were better. September 11 was the day that came after September 10. No one cared about the Taliban (except maybe people in Afghanistan, wherever the hell that is)....

JC in Real Life (posted by: JC)

JC in Real Life
Earlier this week, the glorious Eugene Ahn, of People You Don’t Know, interviewed me for his podcast.  The topics range from Nilla Wafers to Reaganomics, the video game.  In between, we also discuss our love of video games, why every 15 year old on Xbox Live seems like a member of the Klan Youth and the state video game journalism. While I believe everything I write is worth your time, I urge you to listen to this. Originally, I was going to post the interview here, but Eugene deserves the...

Sir Pratchett (posted by: N8)

Sir Pratchett
Since I’ve talked up Terry Pratchett so much on this site (here and here and here), I think I’d be remiss not to note that he was freaking knighted by God’s Holy Vessel on Earth (take that Pope!), The Queen of freaking England. Go Terry, go Terry, go Terry.  What I learned from this event is that Terry Pratchett looks a roughly how I imagine his recurring character Mustrum Ridcully, Archchancellor of Unseen University, looks.  Turns out, my imagination wasn’t too far off...

My Spirited Defense of Jimmy Fallon (posted by: E)

My Spirited Defense of Jimmy Fallon
For those who don’t know, tomorrow night is the end of Late Night with Conan O’Brien, and Alan Sepinwall has written a fantastic article taking a look back on the historic run of the tall, skinny, awkward red head that we all grew to love and call one of our own. In his place steps Jimmy Fallon, the SNL alum who laughed his way through sketches and seemingly stumbled into the job. And, like anyone stepping into the role, he’s been getting panned by critics for any number of reasons,...

The Joaquin Phoenix Chronicles: Ripped from the Headlines! (posted by: E)

The Joaquin Phoenix Chronicles: Ripped from the Headlines!
HOW IT COULD HAVE GONE….. Casey Affleck: Alright, we got a lot of good footage today for your documentary, Joaquin. And look, your movie Two Lovers had a great weekend! You get the night off. Joaquin Phoenix: ….*mumbles* CA: Try to take it easy, okay? Don’t go too nuts tonight. JP: mmm….whatever. [Casey Aflleck leaves, Joaquin sits down in his living room] JP: mmm…*picks up bottles sitting around*..what is this, Xanax? Psht…fuckin’..whatever. [Joaquin collapses...

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