Southwest Moved My Cheese? [irked]
From 1998 through 2002, I scarcely flew any airline but Southwest. In their hay-day, they were $200 cheaper, largely on time, had open seating on most empty flights, and three round trips (booked online) earned you a free trip. Plus, their flight crews had a sense of humor. I burn, I pine, I perish at the memory of those glorious salad days.
But, how the mighty have fallen. These days, ticket price is comparable at best or a few dollars lower than competitors. Any savings is now off-set by a series of pitfalls that mar the Southwest experience: their frequent flier program was overhauled so that the number of flights for a free ride is now 16 legs. That change highlights the always-present problems with their frequent flier program: (1) in the classless southwest society, status-based upgrades are not available, and (2) forget about using your points on international flights (SWA flies solo). Plus, the quirky-casual flight crews which were fresh ten years ago now regurgitate the same off-beat humorous routine that is more annoying than novel after all this time. How many times have we heard “if you are seated next to a child, or something ACTING like a child
But what really ruined Southwest wasn’t the airline. It’s the passengers who flock to it. Much can be said about the epic idiocy of standing in the A, B, or C lines for three full hours before a flight. And yet nothing compares to SWA passengers discussing the “new system” SWA has now implemented for boarding. If you are fortunate enough to have missed it, SWA now gives you a letter and number (e.g. A-34) when you check-in. Rather than having to line up in the A guarding your territory like a half-crazed boxcar hobo with a shive, while also fighting off the urge to pee, this system is designed to allow you to step into your bracket of five numbers when it’s close to boarding time. Today is, in fact, the four-month aniversary of this new system, and compared to the nutso results the previous system had inspired, I would aruge that the new way is a reasonable improvement that preserves open seating while cutting down on the need to camp out like U2 tickets are going on sale.
If only people would stop talking about it. After exactly four full months under the new boarding regime (that included holiday travel for most people), SWA passengers seem entirely unable to absorb the idea of boarding by number:
“Where am I supposed to be — I have a B — where is that?”
“Why do I have a letter AND a number?”
“What’s your number, I’m a 15 — oh, this is B — but I’m a 15-C, where are the C’s — they haven’t lined up yet?” (repeats to the next person in line)
“No, I’m an A, I should be in front of you. Yes, you’re a 15, but you’re a B. This is the A’s.” “This is confusing…can I just get behind you? ”
“This doesn’t make sense. The old way was better. Wasn’t the old way better?” (repeats louder until someone agrees)
Literally, every SWA flight I have been on since the new system now lines up with incessant pre-flight chatter along these lines. It happened last week. And even the passengers who have mastered the new system feel the need to talk about it:
“I really like this, you don’t have to wait, you can just stroll right up to your spot in line.”
“Isn’t this SO MUCH BETTER than before?”
My god. I don’t often try to use this blog for “good” — arguably, the opposite — but please please stop talking about the new SWA boarding system and try to evolve. It’s not that hard, I promise. If you need help, there’s a book often given to people on coping with and adapting to dramatic life-changing events that I highly recommend if, for you, the new SWA boarding system qualifies as such an event. Who Moved My Cheese? Honestly, it’s not a bad primer, well illustrated, and useful for people with real upheaval to deal with — but if you truly need something to talk about in the SWA boarding line, you might consider some of the topics in paragraph 2 of this post…