Live Free or Die Hard & AppleTV Take 2

Everything that’s wrong with this movie in one convenient image.

As someone who reveres Die Hard for being the perfect action movie (something I’ll probably have to post about one day), Live Free or Die Hard hurts my soul. The way I see it, there are a few key elements to making a successful Die Hard movie:

1) A villain who pretends to be a terrorist in order to pull off a robbery.
2) Said villain has to be be more than a match for John McClane.
3) McClane has to know that he’s outmatched. It’s his stubborn refusal to give up (and his miserable attitude) that make him so great.
4) A strong sense of geography to keep the action contained.
5) The action has to be generally plausible and have a real impact on the characters.
6) Apparently, a Gruber.

So, how does Live Free or Die Hard stack up?
1) Technically, yes. But, they sure expend a lot of needless energy on the terrorist stuff that would have been better served in improving the robbery plan. (See the power plant scene)
2) Maybe? Thomas Gabriel and McClane seem to trade having the upper hand. Sure, in absolute terms, Gabriel holds all the cards, but McClane’s confidence in being able to outwit Gabriel sort of takes away from that.
3) Definitely not present in this film. From scene one, McClane is confident and controlled. Everything he does feels like it goes according to plan, which is not in keeping with the spirit of the series at all.
4) Again, no. Die Hard With A Vengeance did the nearly impossible, and integrated New York into being a fantastic playground for its characters. The “mission based” structure of the film and the way characters casually tossed off directions, locations, and transit times gave the audience the feeling of constraint that a good action film needs. Having McClane and his hacker buddy drive from D.C. to West Virginia through the countryside? Not so much.
5) McClane launches a car into a helicopter, using a toll booth. He then tops this by surfing on a harrier. Fun in True Lies. Stupid in a movie about a New York flatfoot.
6) No Grubers present. At all. (Seriously, how great are Alan Rickman and Jeremy Irons?)

It’s not a terrible action movie (it’s not great either), but it’s just not what a Die Hard film should be. At all.

BUT….

I rented it in HD on my AppleTV. That was a great experience, all told. After 20 seconds of adjusting to the updated menu system, it was a breeze to find all the movies available for an HD rental. I was able to watch the movie very shortly after the download began, and the video quality was much better that I expected. No artifacts, no blurring in action scenes, and vibrant colors. The treble in the mix was off (gunshots were LOUD and sounded “off”), but I don’t know whose fault that is. Either way, I definitely recommend the service for anyone who already owns the AppleTV box. The price is on the high side of reasonable, but the instantaneous nature of the service is pretty great.