The Cloverfield Memorial Draft

In honor of the greatest human villain ever to hit the silver screen, we decided to draft human villains (no superpowers, etc) for this week’s draft. It’s looooooong. But, it’s also a good, good read.

Draft Topic: Human Villains

Draft Order: LD, E, Y, N8

E: ok. AND AWAY WE GO

LD: 1) Hans Gruber - considered “The Cakester of Villains”, Alan Rickman is the greatest, most efficient villain of all time. There’s a certain mix of civility and ruthlessness in his character that is just amazing (and somehow very 80’s. It doesn’t hurt that he’s the bad guy in the greatest action film of all time. Also, proof positive that it always helps to have a villain who outclasses your hero.

Hans Gruber’s tragic flaw: Gravity.

N8: fuck

E: hilarious how I should’ve been able to guess that and yet it still surprised me

N8: it was on my short list

E: I’m kind of ashamed of myself

N8: Although I wasn’t sure he would have made the cut!

E: he’s real he’s for serious

LD: He gets his suits from the same place as Arafat! He wanted the release of the imprisoned members of the New Provo Front! What more could you want?

N8: His motive isn’t sublime. He just wants money. He’s bad, but I think that ultimately limits him.

LD: But, that’s the beauty…he’s purely selfish. You gotta admire the way he was also supporting terrorism with his theft. Also, he graduated to kidnapping

E: 2) Anton Chigurh - going new school for that ass! He’s evil, he’s sadistic, he always gets away, he’s got that awesome shotgun silencer spray thing and the cattle head thing, and he works that haircut like nobody’s business

N8: He WAS willing to go the whole 9, I’ll give him that. Clearly not a money motive…

E: He is about as good a villain as we’ve gotten in recent movies

LD: Honestly, I expected him to go early and I think it’s a good, solid pick

N8: He’s a pretty solid villain. He’s also firmly in the territory of having an Evil M.O., which I think is critical.

LD: Well, I think what makes him so fascinating is that he’s evil from an “objective” standpoint

LD: but, obviously he doesn’t consider himself evil

E: he’s not like, a terrorist. he’s a businessman

N8: Query whether that makes him a villain, though. His principle isn’t to hurt people but to act in accord with his beliefs.

E: i think villain is how a character fits with the movie

N8: He’s minimally different than someone who’s purpose happened to be “good” — it just didn’t happen to be in NCFOM.

E: and in NCFOM, he’s clearly the villain

LD: I think E has it exactly right

N8: I see him as more part of the inescapable karma of the world than a villain, but I’m clearly on the outside of this.

LD: No, I think that’s right, but he plays the role of villain

N8: He’s a good choice, no question.

E: like, is Sandman a villain in the Spiderman 3?

E: not really, but yes for this draft (if he wasn’t fantastical) he’d be one

N8: Sandman is a hero in Spiderman.

E: Sandman is made of sand, but he’s also a man

N8: The villains are Venom and the Goblin.

E: what?! Goblin is less a villain than sandman. We’re getting WAY off track here

N8: He stands with Spidey by the end — he’s a good-guy. And his motivations are better than Spiderman’s.

LD: agreed. It would help if Y showed up. Also: can sand be a villain?

N8: Ok, the only real villain in Spiderman 3 is SPIDERMAN HIMSELF!!!

E: if it’s in a vagina, then yes

E: i’m still pissed off about how they made his character in 3

N8: He’s supposed to be much more warped by his trauma than they made him in the movie.

E: if only cuz he was awesome in the comics

LD: Can we not admit that him rising from the sand is possibly the best scene in any comic movie?

E: I actually have no problems with his “sand” scenes. It’s when he’s a normal human being that I was so pissed off

N8: they are good examples of well-done modern CGI, I think. Come on — give Lowell a break

E: He was absolutely the perfect pick for that role, but that writing was atrocious

N8: If you were stuck on that tiny ass island in New England, you wouldn’t have much of a soul left either.

LD: It was stupid to shoehorn him into the origin. Unless the origin itself is awesome (cough-iron man-cough) it should be skipped in the future.

E: yeah, that was fucking terrible

E: hey you know what else I hate? Horses

He’d kill everyone you ever loved without a second thought.

LD: Oh man

E: we should kill all horses

LD: I’d like to punch a horse in the neck

E: for those reading this, I ill-advisedly edited out a huge tangent about horses in our snacks draft

N8: Like in the movie “Kill All The Pretty Horses”

LD: One of McCarthy’s most controversial, to be certain

N8: Vegans loved it. I think they only actually killed like 10 horses for it, but with CGI they added in the rest of them.

LD: You know, every horse helps. That’s 10 fewer four-legged cockroaches infesting our planet

E: also, I hate dolphins cuz i think they’re smug. They KNOW they’re smart, and that’s what’s so annoying about them

N8: That and they get in the way of efficient tuna harvesting.

LD: Also: Aquatic mammals - what the hell? Like, way to ice skate uphill

N8: Some of them just miss the primodial goo, I guess.

Y: 3) Mitch Leary from In the Line of Fire. John Malkovich’s character

E: hot damn, that is a great fucking pick. The scene where he sticks the gun in his mouth as eastwood is hanging off the building?

Y: god, he’s so disturbing in that movie

LD: had I seen the movie, I’d probably agree…

Y: just psychologically torturing Clint Eastwood

E: he is pure evil in that movie, so creepy.

N8: An amazing pick. But not as amazing as…..

E: I haven’t seen that movie in years, I used to be obsessed with it

LD: oh man, I’m excited to see what N8 has here

N8: 4) Verbal Kint (Kevin Spacey) - The Usual Suspects. Evil should be smart.

Y: oh fuck

N8: Evil should flaunt that it’s smarter than Good.

E: wow, unexpected pick, but solid

N8: It should rub it in your face.

LD: Very nice

N8: I go again?

LD: Much like you said regarding my About A Boy pick, that could have waited a round, but it’s a great quality pick

N8: Probably fair enough. But I was looking at my list, and I think the rest are more obscure.

LD: wait til you see my 3rd pick. It’s hella obscure

N8: Well, I think I will go with my “next obscurest” one.

5) Vic Vega / “Mr. Blonde” (Michael Madsen) - Reservoir Dogs. The sadistic side of Evil. A flavor of Anton Chigurh, but with pleasure in the pain he inflicts on others.

LD: Ah…a complicated bouquet

Y: A good villain

N8: It’s all a tapestry this time, gents.

Y: but I don’t know if he’s evil. He wants to know who set them up - What’s the big deal?

LD: Sadly, I haven’t seen reservoir dogs or in the line of fire

Y: Jesus. Rent them now and stop watching cooking shows.

LD: Gordon Ramsey is awesome!

N8: The big deal? He cuts the guys ear off!

Y: Jack Torrance - The Shining

N8: He’s not evil — he’s just misunderstood.

Y: 6) Jack Torrance - The Shining. Dude, EVIL isn’t the subject matter of the draft. It’s villain, and he is a villain.

N8: His family basically DOES suck. He’s up there in the middle of nowhere, drinking, with nothing to write about.

LD: I’m going to side with Y. Antagonist of the work is enough to qualify

N8: He’s an incompetent villain — he freezes to death for no reason…

Y: how you consider ear chopping off evil and trying to murder your family as not…

N8: Sure, it’s enough to qualify — but is it enough to excel? I put it to the readership (who will undoubtedly side with you all…) Also, depends on the family.

Y: He’s a villain. you’re derailing the subject matter

N8: Also depends on how much you enjoy doing it.

Y: he’s the antagonist and at first you side with him and his loneliness, then he goes off the deepend

N8: If you grin and chop off an ear, that’s a good villain.

N8: Just going insane with boredom, not sure about that.

N8: Remember in The Seige? They torture that guy, but they don’t get off on it…

I’m just saying…Bruce Willis doesn’t like to torture. Mr. Blonde does. It’s sadism.

E: what pick are we on

N8: Yours

E: what did y pick

N8: He picked a lonely guy in a cabin. Who has dependency issues.

E: 7) Hannibal Lecter - he’s a cannibal, end of story bitches.

N8: fuck! I thought he would make it another round.

E: again, not TRULY a villain, but villainous.

LD: You know, that’s a good, solid pick. This year’s draft is deep on villains, although, I think Silence of the Lambs is somewhat overrated

E: and eating humans is not fantastical. I think it’s a great suspense movie

LD: fun fact: Lecter never blinks during the film.

N8: The movie just isn’t that great, but he carries it.

E: but in terms of the pure movie at the core, it’s just a great “good” movie

N8: Also, mispronounces “Chianti”

LD: Which is horrible, since Lecter would absolutely know how to pronounce that

N8: Which pisses me off every time.

E: haha

LD: ok, I’m bringing the heat with these next two picks.

Benjamin Linus - Lost.

You could kill him and he’d still be three steps ahead of you.

N8: oh dear god

E: hahaha! I was wondering if he’d get on the board soon

Y: yeah, I have no idea who that is

SPOILER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LD: He murdered a man with a knife to the throat in the finale. After finding out that the murder also blew up a boat full of people, his response was “So?”. Linus is as bad as they coLD.

END SPOILER

N8: I feel like I want to criticize that choice but I lack any objective ammo

LD: You wouldn’t have any ammo, even if you had information

I’m going to catch heat for 9

9) Owen Davian - Mission Impossible 3. Granted, the movie was not that great

N8: So not great and so Tom Cruise filled that I have yet to see it

LD: but, with very little screentime, Philip Seymour Hoffman knocked it out of the park

Y: wait hold on. there was a THIRD Mission Impossible movie?

N8: Although I like him as a villain

N8: I could imagine him being great

LD: yeah, he was absolutely savage

E: wow. MI3. I barely even watched half of that, cuz i found it just kinda…meh. I was like, why am I watching this, I could be watching something better?

LD: I said that…about your MOM

E: 10) Max Cady - Cape Fear, De Niro’s performance. is there anything more villainous than hanging to the bottom of a car or smoking a cigar in a movie theater? ZOMG so rude, man! I used to love this movie as well, the poster used to scare me when I saw it back in the early 90’s. Just his eyes over the water

Y: that is a great pick, he is disturbing.

E: btw, I’m sad about how we can’t pick fantastical villains, cuz I was SO ready to pick Bowie as the Goblin King in Labyrinth

Y: 11) Ernst Blofeld - Several Bond movies. Blofeld was the first evil mastermind. The bald/monacle/scar/petting the cat thing set the standard for these guys forever. He wins out over Goldfinger, Man with the Golden Gun, and Zorin by a nose.

E: oh shit, Blofeld! He kills Bond’s wife!!!! That’s how villainous he is.

N8: I’m contemplating whether Blofeld is “real” enough to qualify….

N8: He does kill Bond’s wife

Y: what? how is he not real?

E: he’s real. he founded a terrorist group. Dude, trust me, if you knew about Lost, if Ben Linus is in, Blofeld is in

Y: Then can we take Ben Linus out?

N8: That’s almost certainly true — which is why I wish I knew enough to throw stones at Linus.

Exactly — I’m with Y

Y: haha

N8: In any case, if allowed, Blofeld is an excellent pick.

E: but I’d venture to say that Blofeld is normal enough

Y: N8 and I are objecting to someone who we don’t know at all

N8: I guess we just don’t know enough about him to say for sure. You see his deeds more than him. We need a VH-1 “Behind the Vengeance” to tell for sure.

12) Adding to my Smart Villain and my Sadistic Villain comes my Cold War Villain: Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren) - Rocky IV. Kills Apollo Creed to make a point, feeling nothing. Raw power. Not an ounce of remorse, ever.

E: HAHAHAHA! Whatever he hits HE DESTROYS! Holy fucking shit, I cannot believe ivan drago wasn’t off the board sooner

N8: I love this game.

E: this is turning into a game of “who can remember the better villains faster”

N8: Oh no… I turned this draft over ahead of time. =)

LD: I thought FOR SURE Drago would be there when I got my next pick, you bastards

N8: 13) Alex DeLarge (Malcom McDowell) - A Clockwork Orange. My Random Violence Villain. The home invasion scene is impossible to watch without recognizing what a wonderfully scary thing real random violence can be. And DeLarge is the king of random-violence villains.

E: this is going to shock you, I have never seen that movie nor read the book

N8: The movie is pretty interesting (though pretty dated now with all the other Big Brother junk out there)

The character lives on, though. He’s still fucking scary to me

Y: 14) Bill the Butcher - Gangs of New York.

E: awww shit. i can’t believe i didn’t think of that either!

N8: Is he even a villain?

Y: Now THAT is a villain. God I hate you N8

E: yes he is

Y: YES HE’S A FUCKING VILLAIN

E: he is so a villain

LD: Let’s all agree to punch N8

N8: He’s just a partisan as I see it.

Y: seriously

N8: hahaha

E: IN THE CONTEXT OF THE STORY, he is a villain

Y: how can you disagree with ALL of my picks

E: we’re not having a philosophical discussion of “what makes a villain”

N8: Oh, so LEO is the hero there?

Y: he’s unamerican (hates immigrants)

E: no N8, AMERICA is the hero

Y: that makes him a villain

N8: Have you listened to the Republicans lately?

Y: no, I try not to, and in my world republicans are villains

N8: Well, they also hate immigrants…

Y: 14) REPUBLICANS

N8: haha, THAT I would accept, but you’d have to pick one of them.

E: so wait, I can’t pick Death from Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey right?

LD: Right.

N8: Right.

LD: Socrates Johnson would be acceptable, though probably not a villain

E: fine

N8: He was a great corrupter of youth “in the context of the story”

E: 15) Howard Payne - POP QUIZ HOTSHOT! People forget how awesome this movie was, and how a large part was because of Dennis Hopper. I mean, c’mon, you didn’t watch it for Sandra Bullock? Or Keanu Reeves? I should probably say the movie was Speed

LD: yes. you should. But, good pick

N8: You said “Pop quiz hotshot” — no one who read this far will NOT know what movie that’s from

E: i know, but just for posterity. Cover my bases. It did come out like 14 years ago which makes me feel old

N8: haha, when they are re-reading us in 50 years at the Smithsonian?

E: of course

LD: Exactly that

E: when they make the Smithsonian of the american Blogosphere

N8: Do they have to use the word “blogosphere” though?

LD: Blogfrica is also acceptable

E: blogsylvania

Blogstonia

LD: Blog United Arab Emirates

E: The Republic Formerly Known as the Artist Blog

LD: Equatorial Bloguinea

E: Djibouti…..blog

LD: On THAT note

LD: 16) Lee Woo-Jin - Oldboy. Either you know what he does to Oh Dae-Su

Korean people are so dramatic

E: oooh, SO INDIE!

LD: or you don’t

Y: God

LD: but, the dude is straight COLD

Y: I have NO IDEA what you are talking about

E: I will again say it for posterity. I am a korean american male who does not worship Old Boy

Eat me, asia

LD: I don’t worship it either

N8: Old Boy?

LD: and Infernal Affairs ain’t great either

but, come ON…the end of Oldboy is HARD

E: yeah, it is. It’s a fantastic viewing experience ONCE

LD: agreed

E: just like Memento

N8: I’ll have to check that out.

E: it’s a korean movie, it’s really violent, really twisted. A guy gets kidnapped and locked in a room for like 14 years or something. He gets out, finds out his family is dead, and he goes looking for VENGEANCE. It’s a visually stunning movie, well worth checking out

LD: Man…I was planning on Drago, I need a minute

N8: I’ll be right back.

LD: Would The Cloverfield Monster count?

E: he’s human

E: god, I got two good ones ready to go

LD: WAIT YOUR TURN. I have one, but I don’t really think the guy is a villain….

17) Chev Chelios - Crank

E: someone pick “Nature” from Into the Wild. No way, how is he a villain?

LD: Uh…murder and…the thing he does in chinatown

Y: 999) Iron Man - HIMSELF

E: i call foul!

LD: ok, gimme two more minutes to think

E: chev chelios is clearly the hero. heroes can kill people

N8: We’ve already established that 998) Spiderman - HIMSELF

E: Darth Vader

Y: 997) Leprachaun - THE LEPRAUCHAN

E: He was human. Episodes 1-3 proved it

Y: He’s more machine now, than man

LD: Ok, I gots it. Actually, I got a few good ones

17) Luke - Children of Men

(that’s Chiwitel Ejiofor’s character, for those of you at home)

E: acceptable. Why Luke, other than the fact that you want to have sex with that movie

LD: Ok, here’s why:

1) he kills the person who is most likely to be able to broker peace in Britain

Y: Because Luke is Superman’s greatest enemy

N8: Superman’s greatest enemy is Batman riding The Flash.

E: “riding” sexually

LD: 2) He and his people open fire on the army at Bexhill after the cease fire

E: b/c superman is a homophobe

LD: 3) he’s constantly a savage bastard throughout the film

he kills Michael Caine!

E: you guys need to see that. In fact, if you see children of Men and old boy back to back, your eyes may explode

LD: Batman and The Flash having sex?

N8: Apparently — E for some reason wanted them to.

E: 18) Annie Wilkes from Misery - Kathy Bates with a sledgehammer crippling James Caan. In most movies, James Caan is the one slapping the women up. She totally turns the tables on him.

N8: Ok, I’m calling Y out — you have the AFI list up there, don’t you?

E: i’m on imdb right now, apparently in the cast of Misery there was “Misery the pig as….herself”. whaaa?

Y: no, no AFI list

N8: ours is much better so far. much much better

Y: are there 100 villains?

N8: only 50 villains

Y: for them to make a whole list of?

E: it’s the internet, somewhere there’s a list of everything

Y: wusses

N8: they had 200 entries I think, which lists like everything

Y: 19) Simon Gruber - Die Hard 3 - I know Hans Gruber is the (rightful) #1 pick, but I have to say Simon deserves a selection. The fact that an action movie like this included a brother as part of the motivation was so OUT OF THE BLUE as to be awesome

E: Jeremy Irons is awesome

N8: oh my god…

LD: Honestly, I considered taking him, because he’s excellent

Y: he is great

N8: He is.

LD: but, I didn’t want to give off the impression of myopia

N8: He’s clever but also kicks ass and have hot terrorist sex with that kind of cold assassin woman.

E: and also: awesome sunglasses

N8: My pick for 20.) Chad (Aaron Eckhart) - In The Company Of Men. Um, yeah. If you’ve seen the movie, you know what I’m talking about.

E: i have not

N8: If not, see it. But not with someone you ever plan to have sex with (again).

The somewhat watered down follow-up movie (Your Friends And Neighbors) is also worth viewing.

I think Y may have introduced me to these movies when we were in high school.

Y: In the Company of Men is ridiculous, but a great exercise and required viewing for all middle class males

N8: I think the world might be a better place if it didn’t exist.

But, in any case, my pick for 21) Edmond Dontes (take your pick which one if you like movies) - The Count Of Monte Cristo

I’m working on the book shortly, but as a villain, he’s totally committed.

Revenge becomes his only motivation.

N8: Calculating, patient, dish served cold Revenge.

LD: Hey, anyone else totally forget that the movie John Q existed? Because, I did

N8: Uh, yea.

Y: 22) Chong Li - Bloodsport

This movie is on TV all the time and I have no idea why it was ever made into a movie

N8: Oh, nice!

Y: but Chong Li is an ultimate villain. He doesn’t even fucking speak

LD: I’ve seen him defeated, but I’ve never seen the full movie

Y: just destroys Van Damme’s friend

N8: Fights dirty, kills without remorse. Yup, great villain.

Y: then blinds him

N8: Throws powder in his face.

E: Chong Li

Y: leading to the scene where training while blindfolded finally pays off

N8: Van Damme has to fight him blind.

Y: the crowd chants his name OVER AND OVER

LD: Frequent commenter E-Roc bears a passing similarity to Chong Li

N8: And he can flex his pecks without moving the rest of his body.

E: 23) Shooter McGavin - From Happy Gilmore, he’s slimy, he’s sleazy, he eats pieces of shit like you for breakfast. And yes, he eats pieces of shit for breakfast. That’s how bad ass he is.

LD: shooter is fun pick. The guy is definitely a bastard

E: we used to call a guy who wrote really shitty poetry on his blog in college shooter mcgavin

N8: Yeah, he’s a solid call even though he’s on the lighter side.

E: cuz every last word’s last syllable rhymed

N8: He evens things out nicely.

E: it was fucking TERRIBLE

LD: Yes, your college blog sucked

E: ZING!

E: poetry expresses my FEELINGS MAAAN

LD: Coming in at 24) Capitan Vidal - Pan’s Labyrinth

E: man

LD: this guy is a top 15 pick, and a real value this late in the draft

E: I can’t think of a more appropriate display of total violence than the knife to the cheek. It’s so violent, and it is so necessary to the story. Well, necesssary is maybe the wrong word, but it’s not gratuitous in the least

LD: the stitching scene is awesome and totally gratuitous unless it shows that…HE’S A MONSTER

N8: Crap — I would have picked him.

LD: Take that regret to your grave, jerk

LD: and let’s move on to 25

25) Vincent - Collateral. As cold a killer as there ever was. I’d put him on par with Chigurh, he’s just from a less rich film

N8: No need to make it personal. Especially if you are also picking Vincent.

LD: I’m still bitter about losing Drago

N8: Understandable — I think we all wanted him and were gaming to get him late.

E: i didn’t want him, cuz fuck you guys

N8: Except Y, who wanted the guy crazed with writer’s block.

E: 26) Clubber Lang - in my mind, in MY PERSONAL OPINION, the better villain because he was infinitely more quotable and stupid

“Clubber what’s your prediction for the fight tonight?”

“…paaiiin”

E: and I don’t care what anyone says, Rocky 3 is my favorite rocky film. I know it’s not the best, it’s probably the 4th BEST, but it’s the one I watch the most. Mr. T’s awesomely stupid lines were the reason

N8: It’s pretty good, and he’s at his peak (if that’s the right word)

E: plus, Hulk Hogan as Thunder Lips

N8: He actually looks strong still

Y: HE TRIED TO MURDER HIS FAMILY. God. I just read the thing about “writer’s block”

LD: I say we just gang on Y’s picks for the rest of the draft

Y: 27) The guy from the last Rambo movie - I don’t think you guys have seen this, but the guy is a military warlord with a porn stache who smokes cigars AND molests young boys. Definitely a vilain

LD: I don’t know, is he really a villain?

E: i haven’t seen the latest rambo

LD: Do the young boys have it coming?

E: I mean, the way they dress these days, they were asking for it

LD: seems to me the real villain might be…COMPLACENCY

Y: /ignore

/ignore

N8: hahah, somehow I think LD’s mocking me now…

E: the real villain might be the decay of our society’s morality

LD: no

LD: I’m aping your style to piss of Y

N8: Ok a bit controversial perhaps, but I’m taking 28) The Narrator (Edward Norton) & “Tyler Durden” (Brad Pitt) - Fight Club. Because, at the end of the day, they are a terrorist group which destroys modern life as we know it using violence and intimidation. They just do it with so much damn style and dogma.

E: i honestly can’t think of one book that hasn’t been made into a movie that has a real LDaty villain

N8: or we just don’t know how to read anymore

N8: The Whale in Moby Dick?

E: other than like, counte of monte cristo, three musketeers, that kind of adventure stuff

LD: Though, you haven’t read Superman Versus the Sex-Having Combination of Batman and The Flash

N8: It could be a for reals Whale…

Y: didn’t we say human?

E: whale’s a mammal

LD: Turns out they don’t have powers. Just sex

N8: Ok, I want 29) Macaulay Culkin’s character in The Good Son.

N8: We haven’t done a lot of evil kids yet, so he’s my pick.

Drops a dummy into traffic.

LD: Was that movie any good?

E: oh yeah, holy shit. That movie was ok

N8: I was actually ok.

LD: and would Anna Chlumsky from My Girl count? I blame her for the existence of bees

N8: Anna Chlumsky could count… where is she now?

E: ironically, she’s a beekeeper

Y: 30) Norman Bates - Psycho

E: FUCKING SHIT

THAT WAS MINE

LD: BALLSACKS

N8: Sorry, I didn’t want him. But that’s just me dissing on your shit man. =) He’s a good pick.

Just not my favorite villain.

E: here’s my pick: Hitler, Schindler’s List!

LD: I considered picking him for Indy and the Last Crusade

Y: wait, what about Ralph Feinnes in that

E: 31) John Doe - Se7en. He’s not only a villain, but he also WINS….by dying. That’s a win in his fucked up mind. C’mon admit it, you all freaked out when the Sloth guy coughed. It was awesome. We all laughed. We all had a good time. David Fincher is awesome

E: I still unabashedly love Se7en

LD: I’ve only seen it once. It was poop in the box, right?

E: yeah. fake poop

LD: ha!

E: those were tears of laughter on brad pitt’s face.

LD: Everyone loves a good joke

N8: Also, Se7en is a great great pick.

E: i was wondering if K-Pax was any good!

LD: You’re K-Pax!

E: YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS K-PAX

LD: 32) O-Ren Ishii - Kill Bill vol 1. She’s awesome. She commands the crazy 88s

E: and hot

LD: she’s a bitch and she gets her skull cut off

E: and asian

LD: also: the Rza scored her scene

E: which means she has tiny blood vessels

LD: 33) Billy Mitchell - The King of Kong. I maintain he’s a villain and my other choice would have been Matt Damon in The Departed

E: 34) Marcellus Wallace - Pulp Fiction - he’s definitively not a bitch, due to the fact that nobody has sex with marcellus wallace except Mrs. Wallace. Also, could be the devil if you gave a shit about Tarantino’s sad attempts at a mythology

Y: Has everyone seen Scream?

LD: yeah

Y: E?

E: yes

Y: cool

35) Billy and Stu - Scream. If you haven’t seen Scream yet, fuck you, I’m spoiling it.

N8s a huge Scream fan

E: no way the statute of limitations for spoilers on SCREAM is long gone

N8: Oh man!!!

Y: that’s what I thought

N8: That’s amazing.

E: if you haven’t seen it by now, it’s your fault. 2 years after theatrical release is the SOL

N8: I wish I’d taken that one. Very very good call. Although my final pick is still my choice:

N8: My last is perhaps my favorite among all my picks:

36.) Col. Nathan R. Jessup, United States Marine Core, Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Fuck y’all. I’m out!

LD: ZING!

E: AYOOO!

Fin.