Comic Strip Draft: Round 3 (oops) [draft]

By: Y · October 29, 2008

Y: I realized I never posted Round 3 of our Comic Strip Draft: Comic strips we hate. Obviously I totally killed the momentum, but hopefully someone will still find it interesting.



If you don’t know about Funky Winkerbean, it was a normal story about a guy growing up and the family around him and all that shit, and then around 1992, the creator Tom Bahtiuk decided, hey, while this strip may be good, why not make it tragic and extremely emotionally manipulative? What resulted was Funky’s wife dying of breast cancer, which led to the creation of the most trite, emotionally lazy and bankrupt shit to ever grace our newspapers, including whole panels of Funky CRYING AT HER TOMBSTONE IN THE RAIN or SMELLING HER SHIRTS. No dialogue people, that’s it.What’s worse is that it has somehow resonated with people who seem to think that it’s some blinding bright beacon of cancer empathy. It’s the worst of comics, a creation of an icon of something simply b/c you can see and read on the utmost surface level that it’s about one thing, and only that one thing. What makes it worse is that in focusing on a subject as serious as cancer (Rakim lyric), it becomes lazy and manipulative in the worst fucking way…because at the core, it is a bad comic. Badly written, badly scripted, badly imagined, badly done. Just bad.

More like Funky Stinkerbean, am I right guys?

LD: The obvious choice, but the right one. I’m going to take The Family Circus. Because that family should be eaten by wolves, rather than spreading their thick layers of bullshit homespun humor on America for another generation.

E: Family Circus made me angry for years every day I read it. I never knew why until I was old enough to see that this was the kind of family that the Aryan nation imagined would end up populating the world if they had it their way.

Y: Definitely the right choice. Only thing redeemable is the Nietszche Family Circus, which takes family circus panels, and puts a Nietszche quote underneath them. It is funny a couple of times, and then you realize that family circus still sucks.

I take BC. One, it makes no sense. Two, it’s right-wing and conservative and religious as hell. Three, it’s not funny. So if you combine conservative values, incoherent rambling, and a lack of funny material, what do you have? Pure shit. Here’s an example:

SN: There’s very little i find more offensive than the family circus. If bil keane were 70 years younger, I would challenge him to a hell in a cell match.

For better or For worse should be called For awful or For abysmal. Again with comics that are way too serious. Rape and cancer arent funny, which comics are supposed to be. Also, the characters are all boring. Were i the cartoonist, I would have ended the series Departed style.

JC: For hatred, I’ll take BC.

As a young reader, BC was always cute and interesting, but as I matured, Johnny Hart, the author of the longtime comic devolved into a religious fanatic. The strip became more of one of those ultra-religious comics you forward to friends as examples of the growing trend of Christian Fundamentalism in the US. In the end, comedy and intelligent satire were replaced by a heavy cross and one of the comics tat I enjoyed during the youth was no more.

Y: I already took BC, but I figure we can double up. It is fucking terrible.

Grimbil: I’ve always hated Dennis the Menace. The little punk was always rude, cruel, and a complete jackass. It was never funny, just obnoxious. Fuck Dennis, I wish Mr. Wilson would strangle him or drop him down a well. Just because he’s a cute kid doesn’t mean he gets to be a dick for 50+ years.



2 Responses to “Comic Strip Draft: Round 3 (oops) [draft]”
  1. daveb says:

    What’s weird is that when I used to read comic strips regularly as a kid (early 80s, mostly), B.C. never stuck out as particularly unusual – it fit right in with all of the innocuous funnies like Beetle Bailey and Hagar the Horrible. Then I read some strips as an adult – wow.

    So did it get progressively worse, or was I just not picking up on all of the heavy-handed religious stuff at the time?

  2. Y says:

    I don’t know if we’ll ever know. I’m not going to go back and read them. But I think that it was always there, because anytime I see one, old or new, it repulses me.

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