Obama Wars: Part 1 [politics]

By: Y · November 6, 2008

The Democratic Party Leaders are sitting in a room setting out a strategy for the coming legislative term…
REID: Until the filibuster-proof majority is fully operational we are vulnerable. The Republicans are too well equipped. They’re more dangerous than you realize.

PELOSI: Dangerous to your Senate, Majority Leader, not to this House!

REID: The Republicans will continue to gain support in the Senate as long as….[

[/door swings open]

BIDEN: The Senate will no longer be of any concern to us. I’ve just received word that Obama has dissolved the Senate┬ápermanently. The last remnants of the Grand Old Party have been swept away.

REID: That’s impossible! How will Obama maintain control without the bureaucracy?

BIDEN: The Democratic Representatives will now have direct control over their territories. Fear will keep the locals in line. Fear of another Bush Presidency.

REID: And what of the Republicans? If the Republicans have obtained a complete technical readout of this election strategy, it is possible, however unlikely, that they might find a weakness and exploit it.

SCHWEITZER: The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands.

PELOSI: Any attack made by the Republicans against this strategy would be a useless gesture, no matter what technical data they’ve obtained. This Internet Campaign is now the ultimate power in the universe. I suggest we use it!

SCHWEITZER: Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to raise money is insignificant next to the power of Rhetoric.

PELOSI: Don’t try to frighten us with your sorcerer’s ways, Lord Schweitzer. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen election strategy, or given you clairvoyance enough to find the votes to win Montana…[/chokes]

SCHWEITZER: I find your lack of faith disturbing.

BIDEN: Enough of this! Schweitzer, release him!

SCHWEITZER: As you wish.

BIDEN: This bickering is pointless. Lord Schweitzer will provide us with the plans of the internet-campaign by the time this inauguration is complete. We will then crush the Republican agenda with one swift stroke.

To Be Continued…

(I admit, I can’t take credit for the inspiration, but it was too awesome not to jump on it)

Filed under: News & Politics

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