Annivesary: The Geekiest Thing JC’s Ever Done

[E's note: somehow, JC still manages to keep his post count at zero, but here's his story]

Back in 1990, I was a scrawny, glasses wearing video game addict, who had the “pleasure” of having an all state football playing, prom/homecoming king, all-around ladies man of a brother.

Because my parents both worked until 7 or 8, while my friends went home for dinner, I went home and played video games. During this time, I became obsessed with Final Fantasy. I had beaten it a few times, but I had still one goal to accomplish, the Warmech. The Warmech was basically an optional boss that insanely difficult to find. Furthermore, it was by far, the most difficult enemy in the game (this is pretty much geeky enough, but I’ll continue).

One afternoon, after months of this Final Fantasy addiction, I decided that I wasn’t going to stop until I beat the Warmech. Of course, that same afternoon, my brother who was home from college, decided he was not going to stop having sex with this girl until their genitals fell off.

And so as I played Final Fantasy in my room, my brother engaged in a sex marathon of epic proportions in his bedroom. Unfortunately our bedrooms shared the same wall, which was paper thin.

So accompanied by the sounds of their teen passion, I finally encountered the legendary Warmech! To concentrate, (yes, to concentrate) I turned off the volume to the television. Despite the increasing sounds of ecstasy (or rough anal, I’m not sure), my carefully planned Warmech strategy was working. After a half-hour battle, that in my mind rivaled the Siege of Troy, I was victorious. At the same time, reach exhausting or unbearable chaffing, my brother and his paramour of the afternoon emerged from his bedroom.

The house reeked like the two of them produced the porn version of The Abyss (the directors cut). However, the only thing I smelled at the time was victory. As this young lady came to the realization that her…how to put this…fuckfest with my brother was completely overheard by this little kid, her pelvic discomfort was replaced by extreme embarrassment.

Seeing her embarrassment and to allay her fears that I was listening in, my brother asked what I had been doing the past few hours. Excited like never before, due to my victory over the Warmech, I recounted, move-by-move the entire battle, as the young lady became more and more depressed. After my story, unaware of what had been going on 10 feet away, I asked, “so what have you guys been up to?”

And that is my geekiest moment.