Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Doesn’t Even Work in Video Games

It’s that time of the year. Every person or entity with access to a computer, (except Grimbil) is coming up with a year end list. One company, The Timothy Plan, which appears to be some sort of Christian Investment Company (I heard they paid Clarence Beaks for the wafer crop report), came up with a completely unrelated 30 Most Offensive Video Games List. While filled with normal offenders like Manhunt, Saint’s Row 2, Bully and World of Goo (kidding), one top offender was Army of Two.

In addition to “objectionable” language and violence, Army of Two also was included for its apparent homosexual themes:

Homosexual Themes: Although never spoken of, undertones of homosexuality are present. Weaponry in he game can be decorated to be anything from diamond encrusted to gold plated. You share a parachute, and the riot shield system allows one player to us a shield or car door as portable cover while the other cuddles up close behind and dispenses “lead” from his “iron.”

Wow. According this description, I’ve committed about 47 homosexual acts, by just typing this post. I feel bad for the children of the Timothy Plan, who are probably called “godless fags” everytime they go to bathroom at school.

Its scary how much the Timothy Plan looks into the world for homosexuality. Of course, the brutally mangled corpse of a (clothed) stripper in Bioshock was listed under “sexual” content so who knows what these guys are into.