Rom Com Roundup: Hitch [5 of 30]
[Rom Com Roundup is a project where I watch 30 romantic comedies I've never seen from now until valentine's day and document how it affects my outlook on love. (Link to the full list of movies)]
Before we begin, I just want to say this: holy hell, rom coms are long these days. Hitch is 118 minutes long. Whatever happened to a nice 90 minute comedy? Anyway, here we go…
The Movie: Hitch
The Blurb: Alex Hitchins is a date doctor who helps men get girls they are in love with. So he helps a fat guy get a rich, beautiful socialite while falling in love with a cynical gossip columnist whose usual job is to report on the infidelities of celebrities. So how ironic is it that her main story is on the girl that the fat guy’s in love with? AAWKWARD.
The Conventions: White guys can’t dance!, late night confessions of skeletons to foster intimacy, speed dating, the “everyone’s sad” montage
Did I Cry? No
Current State Of Mind: Y’know, I remember the trailers for this movie, and thinking it was going to be different than it actually was. And I actually really enjoyed it. It is cheesy as all hell, but did a decent job of cloaking an interesting “this is how men are” message beneath the superficial “this is how women are” construct. I did appreciate Will Smith’s little rant during the speed dating scene about how he helps women get out of their own way so that good guys like Albert have a chance. While this may or may not be a reality, it’s still a nice thought that in those moments when a good guy (read: me) likes a girl who’s out of our league, that we have a shot at getting them if they can get shaken up out of their pre-conceived notion of what they look for in a guy. It may be false hope, but it’s hope nonetheless.
It’s nice to believe that with the right things to say and do, that any guy can get any girl if he legitimately cares for her enough. But we all know that’s not true, right? Because it’s a logical paradox, you can’t care about someone enough to make them realize you’re good for them without getting to know them past the point where you can get being a third party outsider as it is. We all know that certain guys will never get past a certain point with all women, and that even guys who get past that certain point will never get any further regardless of how much they care about someone. You can’t manufacture someone else’s love for you. It’s a cruel tease to put this kind of hope into guy’s minds. So while I did enjoy this movie, the message made me a bit angry…it’s A LIE MAN. That’s why pickup artists never work on anyone except girls who want to get picked up by sleazy pickup guys. Otherwise, you have to have a hell of a lot of luck to get a mutually beneficial situation with a girl you actually like.
And the cynicism grows.
Up Next: 50 First Dates