Combing the New York Comic Con

Recently, I attended the New York Comic Con, which is the largest convention of it’s kind on the East Coast.

Hung over from a series of pre-event parties, I slogged from Penn Station to the Javits Center.  In past years, the line to enter stretched down 10 Ave for blocks and blocks.  This year, someone decided to set up stantions inside the enormous Javits Center to allowing the dozens of Slave Leia’s to avoid frostbite, or worse yet,  freezing, while being hit on by the dozens of fat Batmen.

Fortunately, as opposed to past years, I didn’t have to deal with that (press pass bitches) and glided past security into the Press Room.  Now at past events, often the press room will be filled with tables, tons of surge protectors, an assortment of pens, pads and post-its and food.  Lots and lots of bottles of water and some assortment of bagels, muffins and cookies.  At one event (which of course went bankrupt), there was even an omelet station.  This time, however, no pens, no pads, no posts and no food.  Not even a mini bottle of water.  Stupid economy.   While still in shock over the lack of refreshments (I know, I get fixated on the small stuff), I noticed what I imagine is common at these events, a press fight.

In this instance, two grossly obese (which isn’t saying too much, this is a Comic Con) photographers were fighting over touching the other’s equipment.  While I imagine touching another photographer’s equipment is an offense which normally results in Tina Turning forcing someone to Spin the Wheel, this one culminated in the two photogs slapping each other’s equipment screaming “now I REALLY touched it”, while the entire room stared.  After a minute and realizing I had an appointment, I hit the convention floor with my first of several $4 Diet Snapples.

What amazed me about the floor of the convention was the number of movie, toy and video game display booths.  Two years ago, there were about four or five video game companies in attendance and only two displayed games not previously released.  This year there were over a dozen companies, all with three to six unreleased previews.  Add in the toy companies, the television and movie companies, comics were clearly an afterthought to the NYCC.  In fact, the comic vendors were pushed into the deeper parts of the convention floor and while walking through, it was not an area too difficult to traverse.

Alright, I could go through the play-by-play of each meeting, of each geek and my meeting with pro-wrestler and fellow Michigan alum, Scott Steiner, but in  the coming days, I’ll be preview several of the games so I’ll cover those stories in turn.  Instead I’ll just hit the “highlights.”

Movie Panel Q & As Are Pointless

I felt bad for Watchmen Artist Dave Gibbons.  First, after Gibbons asked the crowd not to record the Watchmen preview, some genius immediately pulls out a camcorder when the preview begins.  Then has the wonderful audacity to pull a Randy Marsh “I thought this was America” routine as he’s tossed from the room.

Then right after the Watchmen preview, Gibbons gets a stupid question regarding a meaningless plot device used in the Graphic Novel that had been changed for the movie.  Having answered the question countless times before, Gibbons gave a logical and professional answer.  Despite having just answering the question, the next freak in line asked the same exact question.  Really?  No back-up question? No “actually my dumb question was the same as the last dumb question, so I’ll go hide my head in shame instead of wasting everyone’s time.”

But these open Q & As always go.  It’s filled with either insanely dumb questions or kiss-assery, all of which add nothing to the experience.  Why do you think politicians so dearly love the town hall meetings?

By the end of the NYCC, I couldn’t stand attending another panel.  A friend of mine asked, if I was covering the Gears of War 2 Panel (they were announcing some new downloadable content).  My response “unless it’s an apology, I’m not interested.”

Marvel Comics Drive Like This, But DC Comics Drive Like This

The head scratcher (of all the head scratchers) from the NYCC was a performance stage.  There was a schedule of various lightsaber fights, comic book reactments and while I was walking by, stand-up comedy.

This guy was referencing various comics that I had never heard of, while everyone was eating it up as if Richard Pryor rose from the dead and went right into Outrageous.

Just freakishly odd.

Shhhhh I’m Making a Saving Throw

Sadly, one of my favorite parts of the NYCC is the Gaming Room.  My first year at the NYCC, I thought the Gaming Room was where the video game displays were located.  Instead, it’s tables upon tables of D & Ders and Magic..ers (?) and the people using those little pewter figurines, sitting in silence playing their games.  Whenever I wanted to make a phone call, I went to the Gaming Room.  It’s like a library, but much cooler.   This year, the Gaming Room was actually expanded and completely full of older men with the same intensity in their faces that I probably have when I’m on the toilet (I’m not positive because I don’t poo looking into the mirror).

Don’t Dress for the Job You Have, Dress For the Job that Doesn’t Exist

Of course, the biggest highlight of any convention is laughing at the nerds of the geek world, cosplayers.  Cosplayers, for those who don’t know are people who dress up as a favorite character from movies, comics or video games.

What has become a growing trend is the obscurity contest that takes place at these shows.  Apparently, it’s soooo super awesome to dress as a background character from some special edition import manga, that only was produced for one week during the 8os, in Thailand.  Of course, I wouldn’t know the most popular manga character if he beat me with his spikey blue hair or she beat me with her physics defying breasts.  Meanwhile, they all have a cameraman with them, acting as if they are working for tips like the heroin addicts on Hollywood Blvd.

On the other end of the spectrum, as with any convention, the most common are characters from Star Wars.  What makes this all the more disheartening is that there are several, yes several, Star Wars cosplay organizations based out of New York. This year, these groups were quarantined from the rest of the convention into their own section.  Walking through, seeing the tons of Leias (and by tons I’m talking weight) and Storm Troopers, it was pure sight comedy.

What’s especially funny about seeing someone as a Storm Trooper is that it’s that person’s creative outlet.  Spending hundreds of dollars to create a costume of something that was created represent the hieght of conformity.  Great job, moron, your way to stand out is hiding in a crowd of clones.  Bravo!

With the previews of the new Ghostbusters game, there were an inordinate amount of people dressed as Venkman, Stantz and Spengler, but surprisingly no Winstons.  Not a single Winston.  And this includes groups over three.  Are there no black nerds out there who love Ghostbusters?  Of course, when I make the suggestion that someone should just go blackface, everyone gets pissy.  Because, two Venkmans is much better solution.  Sure.

But what I’ve always hoped for, a character fight.  Not one of those staged lightsaber duels between Fat Anakin and Fat Darth Vader, while I scream “you’re the same person, it doesn’t make sense,” but a real nerd rage fight.  For instance, dirty torn mask Skeletor bumps into a Leia causing some idiot dress as Superman to ball-up and take Skeletor to task.  This leads to a character riot, a real free for all, with Jokers fighting Spideys and Animes doing whatever the hell Animes do in a fight.  Then out of nowhere some Wolverine with real metal claws, guts a Storm Trooper.  Blood flies everywhere and everyone spazes-out and starts to hysterically cry.

Maybe next year.